Political reconstructionism

I want to change the government.
Every politician is corrupt.

This, of course, is a result of a political conversation. My sister is a democrat. I hear her rambling on and on about "republican" this "bush" that. "Foreign policy", "jobs", "bla bla bla".

We need a radio station
We need a television station
We need pod casts
We need satellite broadcasts
Devoted to politics.
We need to know everything there is to know about our candidates.
We need to know the good and the bad
We need an unbiased research agency to study our candidates and report to us.
We need unfiltered and unadulterated truth.
Every politician is corrupt.

We need the agency to report this, to report the level of corruption.

Our votes and opinions should have no connection to advertising.
Our votes and opinions should have no connection to money, or buyouts.
The government should support itself when it comes to elections.
No candidate should have any more coverage than the next.
The government "for the people, by the people" does not exist. It has evolved, devolved into this corrupt money-laundering monster. A monster that needs to be taught a lesson. We need to stand up against the government that has become this monster. You and I, blue collar and frustrated, need to stand up for what is right. We have been pushed around and bullied far too long.

I am not speaking of a revolution.
I am not speaking of anarchy
(that would be immature and idiotic)
What I am speaking of is............. A new government. Rewriting the constitution.

The United States of America is not the same as it was. We are not the small idealistic nation that we once were. We are not a self sufficient perfect nation.
Our government has become nothing more than a big business. This is true.
We only make decisions for monetary gain. Our elections are based upon money. Our policies are skewed to show more profit. Our actions as a nation are all dictated by money and not society.

I understand that some communism may not be the best.
I understand that some democracies are not the best.
I understand that anarchy is not the best.
But what is so wrong with fixing our government? What is so wrong with changing the system for the benefit of it's people? What is so bad about adapting?
Mostly, what is so wrong with trying?
Why must we stick with this constitution that was written in a different time, culture and state of mind than our own.

Call me an idiot; call me what you will, but I just don't understand.

That brings about a question.....

What do infants dream?

do they dream of womb and doctor?
do they dream of blood and muffled sound?
do they dream of fluid motion?
do they dream at all?
It has been said that the blind do not dream with images. The blind dream with sound and touch.
I am sure that the same could be said for a person with a lack of feeling; dreaming in sights and sound.
I am sure that the same could be said for one without hearing; dreaming in touch and sight.
I am sure that the same could be said for a person who cannot see color; dreaming in black and white and gray and sound and touch.
I do not taste in my dreams.
I do not dream of scent.
Although I have touch, I do not dream with it.
I perceive colors.
I perceive images.
I perceive sounds.
I want to dream like a newborn.
I want my mind to have nothing but itself.
I would like my imagination without reference.
I would like true reflection.


If a fetus would dream without senses, I would envy that dream.

A secret.

Don't tell anybody
Don't even look like you know something. People can read you like a book, you know? You are a jabberjaw. You cannot keep a secret. You cannot keep your mouth shut. You are a gossip queen. I can't trust you not to tell.

You walk around with a weight on your shoulders until you tell your secret.
Until you get it off your chest, you look scared.
You look like, at any moment, you could spill your guts. (which are actually my guts that I gave you)

I am starting a religion.

This is crazy..................
..........But, how crazy was Jesus?
how crazy was Buddha?
how crazy was Gandhi?
how crazy was Einstein?
how crazy was Confucius?

I could do it. If you could just follow me.




Why would you follow me????????????>>>>>>>>>>>>>>???????????.............?????????





Because you need it.
You do.

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DID YOU KNOW THAT ALLIGATORS ONLY LIVE TO ABOUT 50 YEARS OLD AND CROCODILES LIVE TO ABOUT 100?
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You are lost trying to find yourself. You have given up on religion.
Somehow, you have figured out that the bible does not solve anything, or lead you anywhere.
Sure, it is a good book. Filled with good teachings and stories. You know that life just isn't that simple. You are just too smart for that.
You are intelligent.
You have thought and debated.

That is why I am here.
To show you why.
To step up.

I know that you know, but, does everybody else?
I am willing to devote my life to religion.
I am willing to ba a savior.
I am willing to be a martyr.

Isn't that all you need?
Isn't that all you have been searching for?
Isn't that the reason you haven't already started your own religion?

keep the secret.
don't spill the beans
don't tell your friends
they will think I am crazy

Was Buddha crazy?

Narcissism

Narcissism.
What is this all about?

These delusions of grandeur.

What is perfection?

Why do I think that I am better than everybody else alive?

I can see that there are differences between everybody.
I can see that no one way of thought is any better than any others.
I can see that there is no possible way for my thought process to be better than anyone; just different.

We are all raised to believe different things.
We are all raised with different ways of thinking about different things.

Basically, we have the same morals.

Although the way we think of those morals is different.
The way we process our actions against those morals is different.

(I know that this is vague.
I know I speak in circles...... That's what I am good at.)

Even though I know all of these differences and relativities. I still think that I am , somehow, better than everybody else alive. What went wrong? In my childhood, what was askew? Is this because I am the youngest?
Is this because I was trained to OVERappreciate even the very least bit of affection?
Am i just immature?
That would make sense.

I don't really know.

And truly, I don't really care. I like thinking that I am better than everybody, even if I am not. Even if I know I am not. Even if I will never be. Even if it makes me worse for thinking so.
I enjoy the feeling of greatness, of absolute.

I hope I never lose this feeling.
I hope I can fall in love.

A short story for Ya'll

I was told to write a short story about, who the fuck knows what.

So I sat down and thought. I thought some more..... Then I came to a conclusion (as all good brainstorms should). I am an idiot who cannot ever write a short story.

What was I doing in high school, when I was supposed to be writing short stories; or at least reading them?

Was I staring at the girls tits next to me?

Was I thinking of the future?

Was I reading?

Was I watching the clock?

Most likely I was staring at the girl's tits next to me. When I was supposed to be learning about writing short stories, or at least reading one. Most likely I was thinking of, hopefully sometime seeing those tits without that stupid shirt on. The one that says "Stop staring, start tipping". When is my next class?

So alone I sit, awaiting inspiration. Waiting for a higher being to touch my skull and make me smart. Waiting for somebody fun to burst through my door without invitation. Somebody spontaneous, somebody startling. With an apple martini turned to watermelon(Ran out of apple pucker), I sit here. As I do every night.

At a blank computer screen.

Waiting for the words to float out of thin air, around my skull and to my fingers.

I know your waiting for it. You are waiting for the "that's when it happened" The "Then I saw".

But, there isn't one. Just a sad sorry night without inspiration, lacking any real purpose. And the only conclusion perceived is I am an idiot who cannot ever write a short story.

When i grow up!

I can't wait
until the day
that i am older
when women will want to be with me for that reason
i will be wise
instead of idealistic
i will be knowledgeable
instead of condescending
i will be an alcoholic
instead of a drunk
i will be exciting
instead of spontaneous
i will be caring
instead of being compassionate
i will be loving
instead of clingy
i will be everything
instead of being hopeful
i will be overweight
instead of chubby
i will have a young heart
instead of immature
i will be a procrastinator
instead of a coward
i will be a father
instead of a son
i will be a friend
instead of a buddy

I want to grow old
to find myself
to be myself
to be you
to see everything for how it really is
and not how my hormones
and thoughts perceive it

That will never happen; i know
but i guess it feels good
to think it will

it gives you hope
instead of thought

How old were you when you grew up?

Remember when you were a child.....
and all your underwear
had brown streaks running down the backside

all of your underwear.......

When came the day
you told yourself
you werent going to wipe your ass with your underwear anymore?

the day when you grew up?

Pontification at its finest. Read the previous post.

A little bit more about "Tex"
Tex says, that you cannot understand existence
I say "sure you can, Tex
how could you not, it is so easy"

Tex, looks at me
with that look
the look like he is better
and wiser
the look of a manager
a manager of a Kroger no less

I say "Tex, To understand existence is to understand understanding.
you must first understand that there is no understanding, thereby understanding understanding.
once you can understand that
then understanding existence
is simple
quite simple actually
existence is just a pathway
that your conscious mind takes to understanding
once you have understood that there is no understanding
then you will understand
that existence
is just a path"

Tex, looks at me
with that look
the look like he is better
and wiser
the look of a manager
a manager of a Kroger no less

He points his finger to the sky
and says, in his southern accent,
"thats all in need to understand"

As i finish my beer
slamming it down to the bar
wiping my lips
with forearm
"You just say that because you don't understand me"

Kroger OGRE!

Let me tell you about my night.
It started, with plans and free pool
pool wasn't free
but wings were twenty five cents
so we left
only to end up in a cheaper, but less hip
pool hall
with a fat waitress
so we left
only to end up in a cheaper, but less hip
bikini bar.
where I drank my guts off
where the little old Asian lady
fell in love
with my Asian friend
and bought us all shots
and I bought the waitress a shot
because she had a three year old daughter

we played pool with "Tex"
who apparently went to Texas A&M
"Go Longhorns!"
college boy, turned thirty six
wore a turtle neck
under his collared shirt

He manages a Kroger

His mother died,
I know, because I made a "your mom" joke
and he responded exactly like you wouldn't want him to
the response that every "your mom" joke maker fears
He manages a Kroger

The last call cut off my
"vampires will never hurt you"

On the drive home
White castle and a police officer
So we took the long way

Avoiding a speed bump is never a good idea
as I hit a rock
and popped my tire
we parked, grabbed a beer
slapped on the spare

In our drunken gait
Ray and I learned the rock a lesson
by flipping it over
not once, but three times flipped
and spitting on it

This morning ended up like every other
hungover and ashamed
but,
I don't manage a Kroger.

"Go Longhorns!"