Beer and sleeping pills.

Right now I am watching the shining
I am listening to play crack the sky
I am typing on my computer
I am drinking a beer
I am sitting down
I am relaxing
I am getting drunk
I am settling down
I am so fucking good at multitasking.

Somebody please help me
Jack Nicholson is scaring me
My leg is falling asleep.

I know that you want me to keep you alive
with the "existence" and everything
I know that you want me to tell you
right from wrong
moral standpoints
and immoral discretion

truth is
sometimes
we, even the most intelligent of us
even the most inventive of us
all of us knowing
all of us thinking
we sometimes
get a little down on ourselves
no matter what
no matter the situation

I thought the other day
I was taking sleeping pills and beer
that since I was doing it anyway
slowly
why not just do it all at once
why not just finish the bottle
why not just finish the case

If all I ever do
is slowly kill myself
if all I ever do is start
but never finish the job
then what's the point
I should just do one or the other
I should just eat healthy
and ride my bike
and eat granola
because otherwise
all I am really doing is killing myself
slowly
but, killing myself.

Am I a pussy?
should I just do it?
Or is that just what life is?
killing yourself slowly?
everyday inching towards your own demise?