You carry the coins

They are floating about in mid air
And some even float up to the sky
We breathe them in and yet noting happens
Until Jane falls dead and they sprout in her ear
They take over her hands and lift them of their own free will
Jane was fast asleep when I left her
Now she is awake and exploding
Spreading her soul to the heavens and the earth
They steal my bread and steal my socks and shoes
I should wear a mask for sure
My body will soon die
At the foot of my bed
With a bottle of wine stuck to my hand
I’m never getting up from here
I’m never getting up from here
I listen to the treetops shake
Cold and afraid
One day they will all come crashing down
On my two story apartment
Dear god, beat them to the punch
Beat me into lunch
And let me survive another day here
With at least a single thought in my head
“Bend right over and shake” say the squirrels to the bush
They are just outside my windows
As the water slowly rises to drown us all
And together
Together we sleep
Good night will come, as it always does

No more

"Good night to the world" says the sorry blog as it fades into the stars......

*cough* sputter and shake, goes the way of your life

If only love was real
I would have the mind to steal it from your hands
And whisk it away into the night
With a laugh and a gesture
I would walk along the railroad tracks
Remembering the day when
You came along
When my world flipped upside
Down
And afternoons become midnights
The streetlights hang
Lucid and dreary in the damp night air
In the middle of nowhere
The slightest hint
And kiss of the wind
Lifts you off your feet
And kisses your neck
Waiting for, wanting to, and living just to feel
The touch of a hand
And the meeting of fingernails
Digging to the spine

And tonight
When the stars don’t seem so far away
Coming closer
Creeping
To death
You remember your place
Infinity, against the time you take up
a blip

In the length of it all

Maybe you are just too tired
Or maybe the fear takes over
Kneeling down, your shoes bend with the weight
And the sky above your head opens up
And reaches out its soft, fuzzy fingers
To take you home
To take you where we sleep
When we retire to our dreams
When the casket closes
And you open your eyes.

Quote me

"You mostly look up to single people,
yet you mostly envy couples."

"When you're God, everybody looks familiar"

Hitler, (By the way, I had deja vu while editing this)

this is how it all ends
when the butterfly bandages let loose
and slip away
each moment in your memory
is fading
your childhood disappears
computers are running our senate
reading your mind
as the ice cream truck drives by

the distraction takes you away
but the television brings you back
the fathers of this country
would turn in their graves
cry in their palms
if they knew what we have done

profit this
and mayhem that
implant a government issued speaker
hardwired
in your living room
in your kitchen
we wake up all your children
we goodnight all your grandparents
and kiss your wife

the newspaper tells you not to worry
your stocks are looking good
the children are in proper care
when they wheel you away to the funny farm
and the ice cream truck again

here you are
here we all are under
we breathe
hello, Mr. President
goodnight to your country

Nuts, now that's nuts!

this is what the world is coming to
we are all insane
and our neighbors are being slaughtered
and raped

i sit alone and drink
music softens life's cruel grip on my soul
and i am safe

while your babysitter is molesting your children

you interact with these people very day
these are the people who you stand behind in line
at the grocery store
these are the people eating next to you at restaurants
these are the people smiling as you pass on the streets
these are the people stopping at the red lights
and turning left at the arrow
the people washing their floors and making dinner
they are doing laundry
they are taking out their garbage
you live with these people
they are surrounding you
they have deep dark secrets
they witnessed a murder
they are hiding bones
and flesh
and a new found fetish
in their basements
they are collecting fingernail clippings
they are collecting their hair
they are masturbating while you come home from work
they are thinking about you
watching you from the window, the slightly cracked blinds

these are your friends
these are your coworkers
your pals
and your associates

they are completely crazy

are you scared?
i am.

Life completely and utterly blows.

here i am, sitting
and the world is spinning around my ankles
tears well up in my eyes
i drift off and away

he takes my hand and leads
this tidal wave nightmare is over
my hurricane heart can fade out

dear guardian angel,
take your steps slow and sure
get to me
no matter what may become of you
get to me and take me away
we can cross this scenery like its a frozen clock
a stopped watch
a monochromatic painting
a pixelated nightmare

my poor eyes
and my poor emotions
creeping away
and leaving not a print
we slide under banisters
through walls and halls
this dream is over

take a deep breath
remember and appreciate.

Subatomic

while the world sleeps
he is out crawling
on your front lawn
and all the subatomic forces
hold the blades of grass together
this is not gravity
and he slips away
here we are, always relative, always moving

the glass in your windowpane
slips and sags to the floor
looking out you see a figure
warped by the spectrum
and in your head you know
light has mass

i tilt my head back to see you
from the window and I'm scared
nothing is the same anymore
and i miss the feeling of your hand on my head
but you push me down
and i cannot breathe

the creature creeps
while the world you live in sleeps
acting like it's paranoid

Schizophrenia

i am waiting here
and the world is spinning inside my head
like bubbles
my angel is a child trying its hardest to pop it
floating all along
and out my mouth
i spill my words like school glue
and paste my thoughts together
in incoherent sentences
just for you to figure me out
and place your meanings
it's called art
and its called self expression

this is truth, this is honesty
people tell me i talk too much
people say i speak of nothing
opening my mouth without any thought
and if it is not something nice to say
i shouldn't speak at all
they say listen to your mother
listen to your teachings
my grandfather was schizophrenic
delusions of grandeur and all
when i turned seventeen
my mother (the alcoholic) thought i was headed in his direction
now,
i really think i am

who deems sanity anyway?
what does?
some shrink hating his job
stuck in a cube all day
with magazines in the office depicting
skydiving
and scuba diving
and high diving
and all other kinds of diving

I think too much
too many words and worlds
float about my head
like galaxies stuck inside
the sky
i am laying down
and looking up
my words happen just like sight
choosing which star to focus my attention
choosing what planet to speak of
putting words in my mouth
who are you today Allister?
what will you become?
are you happy Allister?

tell me about yourself
let me hear what you think
when you are sitting
with your game face
and trying your hardest not to spill your guts
trying your hardest not to tell him the truth

the shrink hates his job
it's fucking work
he hates his fucking work
i should be asking him about his life
because i know the truth

we are governed by our reactions
and thats it
you make yourself crazy
you make yourself a killer
a child molester
a cannibal
a rapist
depending on how you react
to your external stimuli
and yes, asshole, sometimes it gets hard
but alcohol helps

Sacrafice and thoughts for thinkers.

here i am
on the altar, uninspired breathing
reading from the past
words of priests and saviors
fill my mouth and spill my lips
we all grovel at their feet
and dust away the stones
spread me out
i am done

why today do we see human life the way we do,
when years ago killing had a purpose and a structure?
killing was just an entrance
and you know what?
it just shows us that we really aren't christian at all
we really don't believe in an afterlife
why does it matter if somebody takes your flesh
why does it matter if somebody kills your child
your wife
we all end up in the same place anyway
right?

no, i don't believe it, you do.

you believe that you go somewhere special
are you scared that you may not go the the right place
down instead of up?
are you scared that you may not have loved enough?
have you not been happy?
have you taken more than you have ever given?
what is all this shit?
why shouldn't i be able to kill you?

it is because our lives are no longer governed
by consciousness and morals
they are planned and plotted by the laws
and regulations that you abide by.

if our lives were as they should, then killing for a purpose would be completely reasonable.
dieing for a reason would be completely reasonable
if we believed as we used to, then life would be our gateway

we are a society of nihilists and atheists, no matter what they say
and i am one of them.

although.....my spell check tells me to capitalize "christian".

The bar scene.

This is it,
where it all begins
where it all started
sitting at a corner bar
alone and at random
this music is nothing
notes and screaming
bad voices
bad poetry written on the backs of dollar bills
and twenty dollar hookers

i end it all and open the door
she is looking more and more
in my direction
and i choke down another drink
i stumble to the sink
and bleed out my past
i swear baby, it will never last
and here, writing
i fall into a trance
begin to spin my pen
as i run out of thought and pleasure.

Conversations with myself.

"This is all some sort of scam. It has to be. Some sort of scam."

"If it is, then who is running it?"

"I don't know, maybe some sort of underground uber-intelligent-super-race. You know like smart people, living underground and controlling us."

"But why would they do that? What would this uber super race need with us? We are all just ignorant idiots, what good is it to have us around, consuming, destroying and polluting their world."

"Well, maybe they can't alter this dimension. Maybe they need us to alter our surroundings so that finally, one day we will have figured out how to reach their dimension and help them cross."

"If they are so smart, then why cant they figure out how to cross dimensions and we can?"

"Well, they DO know how, but you need a person(being) in both dimensions to make dimension skipping work."

"So, this uber race is stuck in another dimension and they need us to free them?"

"Not really."

"Then what are we here for?"

"To help them cross dimensions. Not to set them free, but to help them cross."

"Huh?"

"You see, our meaning of life is to help the super uber race. And their meaning of life is to cross dimensions. They need to cross, not just to get to the other side, but to give us a purpose in life. They need to cross, not just to find another dimension, but to cross for the sake of crossing."

"So, let me get this straight? The chicken crossed the road, not to get to the other side, but it was his purpose in life to cross the road?"

"Not really."

"Then what?"

"It was our purpose in life to construct the road for the chicken to cross. The chicken crossing is just a result of our road building. Meaning that we needed to build the road in order to ask the question "why did the chicken cross the road?". The chicken simply crosses the road because his purpose in life is to be a chicken under the influence of humans. Although, this statement does not apply to all chickens throughout time, only this particular chicken.
Chickens are simple creatures and that was a bad analogy to begin with."

"So, then what should i do with my life? Try to cross dimensions so i can hopefully help the super race in their purpose."

"No."

"So, then should i just live my life to the fullest, considering i will never change anything?"

"No."

"So, then should i try to follow the uber race's influence and just go with the flow of a modern day ignorant human destroying, polluting, ruining and eating McDonald's?"

"No."

"So, then what should i do?"

"Build a road."

"For what?"

"For the chicken to cross."

Hello world; here's a shitty picture.

The meaning of life.... X/O

The city is in black and white
and your doctor told you to go home
you hypochondriac
you liver of life

each day that passes
is just another reason to question yourself
and why you are alive
what is the meaning of life?

she tells me to be alive
he says to change the world
and my humble beginnings tell me to reproduce
it makes sense
doesn't it?

every species alive and even dead
has not lived to change the world
has not lived to fall in love
has not had any choice other than to live
why must we think that we are better?

We are all alive just because we are.........
creating more life is just what happens when creatures are allowed to live
and i'm sorry, but it's the truth

but the meaning of life is just that simple

Sure, i want to create
sure, i want to travel
sure, i want to experience life to it's fullest
sure, i want to change the world
sure, i would love to make a difference

Really
when it all comes down to it
when it really gets to the bone
and the hot dog that you were chasing
is taken out from in front of your face
you are alone
with nothing to show for it.

The loom of mind.

Time is nothing but fiber
it is nothing but a cluster fuck of potentiality
possible outcomes shaved off the backs of sheep
maybes, could be's and can be's crunched up and ground down
to a thick cottage cheese soup of colors and dyes

anything that could happen and will happen
is bleached out and cotton ginned
it is deseeded and cleaned
with a mixture of probably and should be
the raw material of time is possibility
your brain the loom
weaving, twisting and sewing
intertwining
taking possibility
and creating experience
every moment that passes
is just woven from a shit-soup of anything

The clammer quantum physics mixed with a hint of Allister.

Controlling your life
is simple
the placebo effect

Why doesn't everybody believe in this?
Why do doctors even use placebos?

If you didn't really have he ability to control your own universe, then why is there a such thing as placebos? And cancer clinics for that matter. I don't know if you know this but i am happy.

I am truly, honestly happy
and i have enjoyed where my life has taken me so far
I have enjoyed every step of the way
and i have lived every experience to its fullest ((in my mind) everybody has their own ideas of "fullest")

There have been lows
and there have been highs

I have not failed to experience anything
and i have not turned on the "autopilot"

So why is it so hard for people to believe that they can control, if not maneuver their own reality. Their own universe.
Besides, don't we all live in separate universes anyway?
Meaning: I see things differently than you
I see things differently than anybody
I perceive reality to be what i can see, through my eyes and what i can sense in all my other connections to this world. I have created a road map of my universe and what i think that it looks like, what i think of the ways i see things. We all are our own cartographers. We all are our own philosophers. We all are our own scientists and theologists.

I am no more right than you.

Or...... Am i?

The placebo effect at work.

I have taken a pill. This pill will ultimately lead to happiness. This pill will open up my eyes to a lot of new circumstances. I must take these circumstances and experiences as they come and always learn from them. Knowing full well that the addition and the multiplication of these happenings will eventually one day lead to my ultimate happiness. And if i may find happiness in the search, and if i may find happiness in the struggle and experience. And if i may find happiness in the worst of times. If i can remain high spirited throughout my life as it wanders and meanders through time, then the placebo will kick in. And i will be free.

Whats your frequency?

Kennith is laying next to me and
his lips are moving
about the government situation
his jaw is flapping and I hear nothing
he is taking apart the English language
and pasting it together again
he is a montage of video clips
from world war three
or four
"What war?"

I say with a twist
with just enough wit
"War is all in your head
and here laying
Kennith you're dead.
Hows that for a god damn rhyme?
a god damn mind fucking rhyme, Kennith!"

"My heads on fire and it hurts when I piss, Kennith
call a doctor and tell him to get a clue
when he's tapping your knee and the priest is inside you"
it's belief in miracles
that gives America its trust
that gives America it oil, wealth and comfort
Go colts!

"And I'm excited Kennith,
I know the meaning of life
it is sad and tried and true
Kennith its horrible and I
shouldn't tell you
because when the levee breaks
from over your head
you have nothing left to grab
just your neighbor's old photo albums
just somebody else's belongings
so take your big screen
and take your wife by the hand
kiss her while you can
because I know the meaning of life Kennith
I know

Hows that for a god damn rhyme?
a god damn mind fucking rhyme Kennith!"

Hangovers in a world without inspiration, love, care, responsibility. And really, nobody learns anything.

What is the use?

This morning started out with potential
But I will do no good
I will not change anything today

It is bad enough for me to think that?
Is the whole world thinking that?
Or, rather do they not think at all
androids
flipping switches and screws
uninspired to change the world
or change anything anymore

the government is tracking your process
and keeping a database
on OSX... of course

The blacksmith is no longer black
and the silver smith isn't much of a smith
the cobbler makes software
to exploit young children
far far away
as long as you're detached

as long as you are not the one dropping the salvages of food
strung by parachutes
down to the starving countries
as long as you don't see the tears of the mothers
breaking down
with no way out

with no razorblades to end it all
without a cliff or a stitch of rope
these are the people
that want to drink your six dollar latte
and see how incredible it tastes when consumed with your four dollar apple scone
frosted with the sweetened mothers milk of a hard working lower class
stable boy
who is honest
who loves his friends
and who shops at wall mart for all his new baby clothes

the world stops
and the string quits the vibration
the easy fabric of black matter unwinds
lets loose its grip
Andromeda turns around and in it goes

Mother Mary
is sitting on a pile of reeds
and you step up for a taste
all she needs is a few drinks and a few hundred dollars
much too fun for just one person
so you step up
and no, not technically
it's not rape
there's consent

Girls gone wild for your briefcase
when tomorrow comes they'll steal your shoes
and take pictures of your favourite celeb

so tomorrow when you wake up
i hope you don't think
and i wish you the worst
there's unlimited possibilities and i hope you chose wrong
because your country has already chosen for you.

Allister Reynoldsism

Why do people believe in urban myths?
For the same reason they believe in Christianity.
It is something to hold on to.
Something separate, yet close.
Something different , yet ultimately attainable.
If you separate yourself from original experience, then the truth can be stretched.
If you did not see, it does not mean that nothing happened.
Belief leaves too much information in the air.
It leaves too much room for possibility and circumstances.
How long was the fish?
"This long"
How much did that cost?
"This much"

It is a telephone wire world that we live in.

Our parents, our teachers can do amazing things with assembling young minds. They know what switches to pull, buttons to push and holes to mend for us to mature. They know how to create a working member of society. They know what morals to teach, they know what lessons need to be learned, they know how to discipline, medicate, cheat, love, just enough for us to work. Just enough for us to get a job and hopefully create a family of our own. On and on and on.

For humans to advance we need more. We need an all around belief. As good as morals. We need something to hold on to, or at least ultimately know. Most of all we need something to experience. If we do not experience, then we do not know; we may believe, but we do not know. If we do not see your fish we will never know the size. If we did not watch the transaction we will never know the price. If we did not see the miracle we will never know its awe.

As humans, in the realm of spirituality, we are left out in the cold on our asses and told to find our own way.

I know it is near impossible to explain existence.
I know it is nearly impossible to define reality.
Is it not nearly impossible to transplant human hearts?
Is it not nearly impossible to clone a being?

All we need is school.
All we need is students.
All we need is thought.
All we need is practice and something will arise.
Surely, something will arise.

Discovery is what happens when ignorance learns.

Narcissism

I found interesting information on the Internet
suggesting that we (humans) have been here for longer than once expected.
suggesting that we (humans) were put here by aliens.
suggesting that science as we know it may be just as false as religion

I read that we have successfully tested the use of microchips in rat brains

I saw information on black holes.

I heard about dark matter.

I know about quantum physics.

Yet today, i sold somebody a vacuum
Today, i ate breakfast
Today, i played with my dog in the snow

I am going to gargle saltwater and go to bed (strep throat)

I am listening to Glassjaw and John Hiatt on my media player

I have read your blogs
and i got laid the other night.

I need to change the water in my fish tank

I don't know..... I guess that i am just confused with life right now
the great Allister Reynolds
confused....... to his very fiber..... confused

my thoughts on life are all coming out to be right
What is it like to lose faith?

If you can control your universe then what do you have to be unhappy about?

?Thoughts?

If sleep is a foundation for life, then what is life the foundation for?

Perspective.
A second is just one human heartbeat.
Shows how perfect science is.

How often do you take the time to appreciate your life?
Stop
Collapse
Reflect