I found it! (i know its dumb, but i had fun)

I have got it!

the meaning of life

i was so excited when i found it
it was hidden under a rock
under a castle under the earth
in a box
in a paper towel
in a real towel
covered with soot
covered with dirt
covered with blood
and sweat
drenched in tears
and cum
and rain

it smelled like the garbage disposal would
if it didn't work

with eggs and tomatoes
and cauliflower and cheese

It looked like Jesus resurrected
it looked like God's penis dipped in chocolate

and i almost took a bite
i almost thought about taking a bite
it went through my head
at the very least
I took a step back
and i said to myself
"how do i know what god's penis looks like?"

So I put it back
under a rock
under a castle under the earth
I put it in a box
and wrapped it in a towel
then in a real towel
i covered it with soot
and then some dirt
i bled all over it

It was hot
so i cried
then i came all over it (it did look like god's penis)

It started to rain.....
so i made breakfast

and then i made dinner

I had dessert.

i went home
to tell everybody about my discovery
and nobody was there to greet me
nobody even recognized me

i was ignored
i was followed
i was covered in soot
and blood
and cum
i was wrapped in a paper towel
then in a real towel

and buried somewhere
in the earth
in a castle underneath another castle
and i stank.

like cauliflower and cheese
and eggs and tomatoes
but i did
i really did
at anything i did

i looked like gods penis
dipped in chocolate........

Oh i am cumming!

Here i am
Allister Reynolds

I have just finished.

and this is my life
yes
i know
yes i am depressed
of course i am depressed
wouldn't you be
put yourself in my shoes
please do..


please.....
because somebody needs to
if not me than whom?

I have just finished a book.

you know how i hate to finish things
i absolutely hate it
every second of it
god dammit
get it through your skull

i have never meant anything any more than this:
i hate finishing.

I have just finished four beers.

the first time you came...
you felt ashamed and dislocated
the first time you had sex
you felt ashamed and dislocated
the first time you watched television
the first time you fell over
the first time you spoke to a woman
the first time that you wrote anything
or drew anything

I have just finished three sleeping pills.

I have a resentment for completion
I don't know if it is a basic human thought or not
i don't know if i am alone
or not

the book is not about where it leaves you
but where it takes you,
how you travel

naked and alone
it leaves you
ashamed and dislocated.

A poem to end all poems

There is no denying our own existential reality
how we have every right to question
anything
and everything that we have ever known
or will ever know

it is so easy to dismiss any belief
with this simple understanding

in the understanding:
that there is no understanding

the understanding:
that there is no possible way to understand

that having been said
ok
alright

but you need to establish a reality
everybody needs a reality, a plane, a dimension in which you live
whether you chose to understand or not
you still need a place to do all this misunderstanding

and the place that you do this is here
and you are here
and there is no denying that you are here


because i can see you
because i can touch you
and hold you
if i wanted to....
but you stink
and you sweat a lot
so why in the fucking hell would i want to touch you?
your gay.

so there you go

you have established a reality
you have established a plane on which you will exist
that plane has rules
that plane has morals
that plane has basic principals

you may not fly

you may not move things with your mind

you may not and will not ever, ever bend the rules

you may not ever leave this plain

you cannot

do you believe me yet
do you believe in reality yet

all that this is about;
is me

this is not about you
this is not about your needing for a reality
this is about my needing for a reality
this is about my need for truth
and my search for divinity

you don't really smell
but i still don't want to touch you
you aren't gay (I hope not(not like it matters))
and neither am i

this is about me explaining existence to myself
because i have given up
i have given up believing in not believing
i have given up in understanding in never understanding.


i believe in a reality

at least we have established that.